They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
