Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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