Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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