I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
