I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
