can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
