I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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