She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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