Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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