i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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