you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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