Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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