Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
