So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
