3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Text me some of your sweat
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
