they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize