I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
