Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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