yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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