so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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