Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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