If i come over, it means nothing
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
