Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
