I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
