so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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