You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
