I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
