He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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