Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
