ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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