Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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