Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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