I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
