he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
