Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
