Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
