dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need to calm my uterus...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
