Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
