his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize