I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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