What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
