When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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