Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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