You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
