thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
