guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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