Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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