I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
