I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize