now i know why i became what i already was.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
