We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
