people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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