Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
