Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize