There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
