Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
