I just threw up on my dentist
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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