after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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