glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
