I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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