We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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