So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
