I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
